there's paper in my vomit.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
