They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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