Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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