I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
