party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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