He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
