I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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