Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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