hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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