Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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