Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
