Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
