To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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