i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
