we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
