brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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