Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
