I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
