We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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