i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
