There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
