btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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