I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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