Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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