also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
