I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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