is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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