In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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