a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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