beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
