We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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