Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
