If i come over, it means nothing
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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