Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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