do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
