Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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