her vagine was all disorganized.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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