you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
