Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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