Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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