i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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