I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
