i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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