I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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