plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just want nice things and good sex
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
