dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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