So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
