I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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