Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
