bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dick very happy bro
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
