If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
